Recently I was chatting with a woman I know (not particularly well) and she said something about all the kids we were going to have – to fill the big house we bought. I took a deep breath, and said we weren’t going to be having kids. Her reply was “never say never”. I took another deep breath and said we couldn’t have kids. When she asked whether we’d tried everything, I told her that we’d turned ourselves inside out trying to have kids, and that we couldn’t. For once I was able to talk about it in matter of fact tones (maybe because I don’t know her that well?), I wasn’t choking back tears, I wasn’t afraid I’d break down. I did feel sad, but not engulfed in raw emotion. I finished by saying it wasn’t the worst thing in the world that could happen us. And, I really meant it.